Well, it seems I'm a holiday xanga writer . . . last post: Halloween.  har har har  but . ..

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

And me?  I'm thankful for about everything I usually am, nothing much new there.  mmm. . . but there have been some moments.  I must say that recently these are some of the things I've decided I am most thankful for.  Not looking after impossible dreams of a perfect world or perfect life.  Not focusing on fears of where this life is headed and what it all means to five years from now.  Nope.  I am thankful for the moments I have today.  Sitting with a warm cup of coffee, chatting as I wait for it to cool.  Listening to friends analyze this or that and realizing the deeper meaning to them, that the words can't say.  Watching the light in a friend's eyes because they can't contain the excitement.  Watching silly movies that touch the heart . . . or bring explosions of laughter.  Dancing behind closed curtains with friends - just letting go!  Almost getting swept up by the wind and giggling over it.  The moments, the little things - that's truly what it's all about.  yeah.
So, that's some of what I'm thankful for . . . just a bit of it all ;)
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And it still gets me how much people don't know about each other.  We hide so much more than we think we do just because we don't say plainly all that we mean.  Why is it so hard?  Sometimes I feel so obvious.  Perhaps it comes from being a loud person, you figure people catch on to your whispers, too.  (Afterall if everyone has you figured out they should know everything right?)  But that's not how it is.  It's funny because we don't always realize how much we keep to ourselves, secrets of the soul and heart.  It can be hard though, eh?  Hard to know who to trust.  Hard to know how people will react when they have their own secret-self.  And when you see much of the world as a big ball of confusion, not discerning easily what you really want - well, it seems speaking these things would be pointless doesn't it?  Somehow we get ourselves all mixed up, thinking we have to have it all figured out before we can speak up.  Well, I speak for myself, friends.  It's hard to let the soft side, uncomfortable confused, open to a world of pins and needles.  So we are careful. 

That's ok, mostly.  Perhaps we shouldn't be completely unstitched for all the world.  But what about those who matter.  Why are we so afraid of each other?  With all the pain in the world there have to be strongholds.  We have to open up and let some in to gain something more in this world.  To love with every ounce, every vibration. 
Life, love, happiness - they seem cliche, but this is what we have folks - this is what it's all about.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!   - looks like I might get to dress up after all :)

the big scare:  Recital this weekend - eeeeeeek!

constant debate

Realize I haven't updated for awhile.  Actually wrote a bit on myspace the other day, so i'm gonna stick that in here ;)

Cary Brothers, classes end, and a daily God

Stumbled across this (Cary Brothers) tonight . . . ok, myspace had it right there on front and it would have been difficult not to, and yes, it's mighty hard for Cassie Fox to see a boy and guitar and not get a little excited - shameful maybe, but can you blame a girl?  Truth, good sounds also and deserves a listen from your swell ears ;)

Little else to say.  Preparing for my sax recital, trying to finish classes and get done with this step to have a chance to figure out the next.  Not an easy task you know. 

Had an awesome worship experience yesterday :)  Han and I decided to stay home and have our own.  So we set up in the backyard on a blanket, I pulled out the guitar and did my best.  There was singing, prayer, bible reading and discussion.  All in all it was grand and I think we both felt something out of it.  Also had a new push to make more time for 'God stuff' ~ silly people, we forget.  And honestly, my days are so much better when I don't ;)

~peace 

Happy to see many people back in town.  Happy that there are many living near by to share days with.  Happy to be alive today.

Though I've achieved little within today, it feels good to be here.  Seeing people and just finding myself amazed at what others know and are able to achieve themselves.  And you know, I don't mind feeling less achieved anymore.  It's nice to just admire those around you and credit them with what they're capable of - I don't mind being mediocre at things . . . as long as I am able to love to the extreme ;)  Seriously though, so many individuals amaze me.  And my goal is to absorb as much as possible, ask questions and be honest when I don't know.  You know what happens then?  People don't laugh, offer the door and ignore you - more often people are glad to share what they know.  And it's just grand, isn't it?  You learn so much!  Yep, that's the plan . . . .just got to get off my butt more and start putting it all to more practice . . . speaking of PRACTICE ~ so long!